We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
