Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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