You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
A bitchslap is in order.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
