that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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