You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
