So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
