hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
