if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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