okay pat passed out under dana's car
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
