you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
