yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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