I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
