yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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