the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
