Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
