Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
