some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
