its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
