summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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