He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
