The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
