tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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