He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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