Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
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You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize