Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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