On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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