Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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