Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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