is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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