...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
