ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
