New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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