The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
