oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
