Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
