Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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