I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
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I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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