I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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