I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
