can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
