he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
