I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize