hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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