i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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