She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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