So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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