Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
