I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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