She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
