so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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