Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
