And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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