is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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