Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We have started to decorate penises.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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