I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Alive.
So much puke
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
