We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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