i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
