We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
