He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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