am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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